What is a Family Constellation?

 

FC is a therapy which was created by Bert Hellinger, who was a German psychotherapist. Primarily this therapy is based on three orders or laws of love:

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•  Belonging: Everyone in the family system has a right to belong, regardless of what has been or done. No one can be excluded. The excluded is that person who is not spoken of or not seen. Until this family member is recognized, the pattern of behavior tends to be repeated from generation to generation. The repetition cycle could be modified if at least one member of the family system recognizes and gives a place to the excluded in the system. “Everyone Belongs”.

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• Order and Hierarchy: Priority is given to anyone who arrived earlier in our family system, that is, the order of arrival is respected. The parents are the big ones, the children are the little ones. The Order of Precedence means that the one who arrives first takes the first place, and the others follow in order. First come the parents and then the children. An older brother or sister comes before their younger siblings. A first wife comes before a second. Each person is considered in their chronological appearance within the family system. 

 

The best way for a son or daughter to honor his/her parents is by looking forward, towards life and giving life to his/her own children or projects, where they carry the strength of their parents with them.

 

In the couple, both members are adults, the relationship is between equals. The couple communicate and guide their children. 

 

 

• Balance between giving and receiving:  Parents give, children receive. Children cannot give parents back life, which is the greatest thing they have received. Children can make up for what they have received when they give life to their own children or their projects. In this way, children can look forward. That son or daughter who stays looking at his/her parents (backwards), trying to change their lives, positions himself/herself as the big one in front of his/her parents and therefore loses strength to build his/her own path. 

 

As adults the exchange between giving and receiving is between equals. Siblings, friends, partner, co-workers and all the social circles to which we belong. What is received from the other is appreciated, what was received is taken and the desire arises to give back to the other person a little more than what was received. In this way, the healthy flow of exchange is maintained. 

 

Conflict in our family system can arise when any order of love is disturbed. It is there, when the FC helps to order or restore the proper positioning for each member of the family and in this way relationships can flow more harmoniously. When we are aware of the position we occupy in our family system, relationships with money, with friends, with work and any relationship in general, are also benefited, because there is order and when there is order, there is harmony. 

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“With love, only with love, it is not enough. It has to be in order” Bert Hellinger

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How is Family Constellations practiced ?

The therapist has a platform and some representatives (or dolls) who will help the client to observe their inner world and their position in the family system, giving life and movement to each member of the constellation. At the end, the client will realize his/her own movement within his/her system and with the help of the therapist, the client will obtain his/her own conclusions in order to discover a little more about his/her own process and be able to work on himself/herself with the intention to heal.

 

Family Constellation Sessions:

 

The first session lasts 1 and a half hours.  ​

 

• Theoretical information about CF.

• The aspects that the client wants to work on in the session are reviewed.

• Small guided meditation.

• The CF is performed on the platform.

• Analysis of systemic movement. 

 

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Modality: Online or In-person ​

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